White Stripes

With a bit of thumb-twiddling time on my hands, while I waited for my repair to the steering lock to cure, I decided I’d turn my attention to Herman’s roof once more.

Those of you with a memory exceeding that of a goldfish may recall that, at the end of the marathon painting sessions, Herman was left with a white stripe down the centre of his roof - owing to the fact that I couldnae quite reach to the middle from either side, while painting it. I had hoped that the intervening weeks might have seen my arms achieve the necessary length, but I’ve had to resign myself to the fact that, at my age, I’m unlikely to undergo a late growth spurt. So it was on with the white coat and off to my underground laboratory.

[Yes. Of course, it has one of those machines out of the Frankenstein films, with the two wires, and a big spark moving up and down between them!].

After several hours of brain-wrenching research, during which I pushed back the frontiers of science, filled several blackboards with complicated equations and grew a really sticky-out-at-all-angles ‘professor’ hairstyle, I was finally ready to unveil my patented ‘Distance-Paint-O-Tronic Mark I’ - manufactured from finest quality plastic tubing, with the aid of my ever-useful Turboflame.

The 'Distance-Paint-O-Tronic Mark I' -ideal for painting things far away [or around corners!]
The 'Distance-Paint-O-Tronic Mark I' -ideal for painting things far away [or around corners!]

Armed with my new invention I made short work of filling in the blanks up the middle of Herman’s roof.

The inventor puts the 'Distance-Paint-O-Tronic Mark I' through its paces
The inventor puts the 'Distance-Paint-O-Tronic Mark I' through its paces
The colossal reach of the 'Distance-Paint-O-Tronic Mark I', when running at full power
The colossal reach of the 'Distance-Paint-O-Tronic Mark I', when running at full power

While I was teetering at the top of my ladder, I noticed that the alien life-forms I had previously decimated, when first I set hand on the vast unchartered territory of Herman’s roof, were starting to crawl forth from the primaeval slime and begin the process of evolution all over again. For the roof was covered with a thin grey layer of powdery dust, which looked like it was once again forming into round circles of lichen. Just shows to go you - you cannae keep a good species down!

Lichen: we'll be back!
Lichen: we'll be back!

Well, new life-forms notwithstanding; Herman has finally got his new clothes on!

Finished - at last!
Finished - at last!

And that’s about it for today.

After finishing Herman’s roof, I got the oil-drenched foam lining of the engine bay cover out and squished a load of soapy water through that to dry and de-slime it a bit, coz I’m going to stick the engine bay cover back on tomorrow. Then, I packed away my bits’n’bobs and repaired upstairs to enjoy an export strength black Irish beer, which I’ll not mention by name this time, as neither the vast sponsorship deal cheque, nor the case of free samples have arrived yet!

Meta TAGS: paintingroof
ORIGINAL PUBLICATION DATE: 21 Mar 2009
AUTHOR: stíobhart matulevicz