Bumper Vans -Part 01

Yesterday, me and Mazza went off on an excursion to Derby, to pick up a set of rear bumpers for Herman from fellow Brickyard Forum member Icky.

No problems at all with Herman in getting there and, in his first run out into undulating territory since I adjusted up the clutch, he seemed to cope OK with the hills down around the Peak District. The only thing that slowed us up really was the fact that it was a bank holiday, and the sun was shining; so there was traffic a-plenty clogging the roads.

We found Icky’s gaff after a bit of wrestling with Derby’s one-way system [nearly as confusing as Stockport’s!] and he presented us with a pair of rear bumpers for Herman and refused to take any money for them -nice chap!

The bumpers were in quite good nick, apart from the fact that one of them had gone a bit furry along part of the inner edge. Icky suggested giving it a dollop of fibreglass resin to tidy it up again, but I quite like it the way it is. It has character!

Fast forward to today and I grabbed my tools and nipped outside for what I thought would be an hour or so’s work at the most - fitting the new bumpers.

New bumpers  -waiting to be fitted:
New bumpers -waiting to be fitted:

How wrong can you be! -the bumpers attach to the four mounting brackets on the back of the van by means of eight bolts which have to be removed with an allen key. Every single fecking one of them was rusted solid and, even after dousing them liberally with Plusgas, I only managed to get two of them out in one piece. The rest of them sheared off and left me with the prospect of having to drill and grind them out. I also noticed that there were bolts missing from the underneath of a couple of the brackets, where they fastened onto the chassis underneath. So they’d need taking care of too.

Four brackets & eight bolts versus an allen key, a pry-bar & a gallon of Plusgas!
Four brackets & eight bolts versus an allen key, a pry-bar & a gallon of Plusgas!
Shear frustration [geddit!] -this is how most of the bolts came off
Shear frustration [geddit!] -this is how most of the bolts came off
There were also a few bolts missing from where the brackets join the chassis
There were also a few bolts missing from where the brackets join the chassis

T’was about then that -almost with relief- I felt the familiar tender caress of raindrops ‘pon my cheek and -not for the first time, retired hurt to the pavillion.

Meta TAGS: bumpers
ORIGINAL PUBLICATION DATE: 26 May 2009
AUTHOR: stíobhart matulevicz