Pipe Bomb

Well, it had to happen eventually! Remember the shoddy welded repair I made to Herman’s exhaust pipe about a year ago? Well, it had surprised me by actually lasting longer than the ten minutes I originally predicted for it. So much longer in fact that I’d almost forgotten about it. Well, this morning, after a mosey into Belfast to do some shopping we jumped in to set off home again and heard the old “100 chav-mobiles with fat exhaust pipes” thunder coming from under the van once more. I jumped out and had a look and found that my crappy welded repair had finally succumbed to the inevitable and come apart again.

Back to the mammy’s [which luckily was only about five miles away] and I sat down to consider how the feck to fix up the exhaust again, without access to my welder, which was back home in Manc.

After hoking through the shed in a vain search for anything tubular with which I might effect a temporary repair, my eye fell upon my brother’s old Nissan hatchback, which has been abandoned on the mammy’s driveway for about a year now, since the head gasket went.

“I wonder…?” I thought handsomely.

A few minutes later I was out with my head stuck under the brother’s abandoned motor, measuring the diameter of the exhaust pipe.

“It’s a long shot, but it just might work…!” I mused, resorting to cliché in my hour of need.

Sorry, bro. But my need is greater than yours!
Sorry, bro. But my need is greater than yours!

I cut a straight section of the exhaust pipe out of the centre and, after checking it against the broken pipe dangling underneath Herman found that, for once, the gods were smiling on me. The pipe I’d taken off the brother’s wee Nissan was just the exact right size to fit tightly inside Herman’s exhaust pipe

Cleaning up the section of pipe cut off the bro's car, by cleverly transferring all its dirt onto myself
Cleaning up the section of pipe cut off the bro's car, by cleverly transferring all its dirt onto myself

Once I’d cleaned up the bit of pipe, I stuffed it into the broken end of Herman’s tailpipe and twatted it with a lump hammer, til it wedged nice and tightly into place. When it was done it was as solid as a rock. As botches go this was turning out to actually be quite a good one.

Solid as a rock!
Solid as a rock!

The next stage was to crawl back under Herman, stick the newly “extensionised” tailpipe back into position and hammer it into place, so the Nissan pipe lodged inside the mid section of Herman’s exhaust. Thus rejoining the two sections together, with a section of pipe wedged solidly inside the join. The resulting fix, albeit made from whatever I could find to hand is probably more solid than the rest of the exhaust now, as it  has a double thickness section of pipe in that area.

And then that gets hammered in here
And then that gets hammered in here
Meta TAGS: exhaust
ORIGINAL PUBLICATION DATE: 15 Aug 2011
AUTHOR: stíobhart matulevicz